Play On Love (the homecoming)

1: Hospital

I got back to New Jersey from California on December 28th, 1977. As I suspected, it was cold, the threat of snow in the air, every one's breath exiting the airport was a white cloud that hung in the frigid air.

I took a taxi from the airport to the hospital, the entire way the cabbie played top forty radio. It seemed every song reminded me of what I had just left behind... as we drove past houses still decorated for the holidays, I felt my heart sinking. As the hospital came up in the distance, Jefferson Starship came on, Grace Slick's banshee wail of "Play on Love" issued forth from the hack's speaker system.

As the tail lights of the cab disappeared in the distance, I stood in the parking lot of Memorial Medical center with a duffel bag on my shoulder and a suitcase in my hand. I wore a denim jacket that did nothing to warm me from the bitter temperatures. I sighed and made my way to the front entrance.

Stark neon lighting washed over me as I made my way to the help desk where a tired looking woman looked up my father's room in the Rolodex. She pointed me down the hall and handed me a visitor's card and I carried my weight down the hallway until I got to room A12.

The first thing I saw as I entered the private room was my mother sitting next to the bed, she was sitting by my father who was hooked up to tubes and machines...and as I approached, Mom looked up and smiled and then out of the corner of my eye, I caught a familiar shape wearing a varsity letter jacket. It was Chris.

Mom was smiling brightly when she said, "He's going to be OK, after all, it was just a small attack, the doctor said he'll be up and around in no time". Dad looked up at me, pale, but healthy looking (all things considered) and said, "The prodigal has returned! How was sin city, son?"

So I sat on the bed and told my parents a lie about a fun filled vacation where I had hooked up with an old friend and pretty much spent most of my time being a tourist. Chris sat silently the entire time.

Mom patted Chris's hand when she said, "Chris was good enough to bring me here tonight when your brother's car broke down"...he looked at me and smiled gently and I smiled back...

I stayed for about an hour and then Chris suggested that he take us home so dad could rest. Mom deferred and said she was staying. I kissed her goodbye and kissed dad also. And then Chris and I left.

We walked silently until we got to the parking lot and he said, "How are you?" and before I could answer, he pushed me against a wall and kissed me roughly on the mouth. "Good Christ, I missed you", he said as he tossed my luggage in the back seat of his car. "You're spending the night at my place, my mother is out of town..."

And I got into his car, closed my eyes and let myself relax for the first time in hours as he drove.

2: Bedroom

Chris's bedroom was in the attic of his mother's home. It was large and the first thing you saw was the framed photo of the high-school's wrestling team on the wall over the bed. I studied that photo for a moment while Chris was throwing a couple of sandwiches together for us downstairs in the kitchen. I looked at the photo of Chris and the other members of the squad and suddenly all of the old feelings came flooding back. I'd been in love with him since the 10th grade and maybe he knew that, or at least suspected it. I suspected that he loved me...but sometimes it was hard for him to verbalize such things, being a jock and all that...and just then my eyes caught another photo of him, this was one of him on the football team...he looked so beautiful in that picture, his hair rather long, framing his classically handsome face, In spite of, or maybe because of, everything, I found myself getting aroused. I sat down on the weight bench next to the desk in the room and spied a piece of paper, I moved in close to see what it was and then I saw that it was my name written over and over...in Chris's handwriting.

I jumped when the radiator began banging bringing some much needed heat to the third floor of this drafty old house. Then I turned and saw through the bedroom window, the suburban street below glowing in all of it's holiday finery and I realized that I really was home.

Just before he came back in to the room, I made a silent prayer that we'd have sex tonight. I needed that now more than anything.

3: Sandwich

It was the best ham and cheese sandwich I'd ever had, I washed it down with a Dr. Pepper.

Chris wolfed his down and as the room began to warm up, he removed his sweat shirt as well as the t-shirt under it and for the first time in months I stared at his chest, which looked bigger and more muscular than I'd ever seen it.

He pulled me to him once more and kissed me again. This time it was gentle and friendly, and then he said, "So tell me everything" as he leaned against the barbell on the weight bench.

"Everything?" I asked sitting cross legged on his bed.

"Don't make me beat it out of you", he said smirking, "Come on, you disappear and don't tell anyone anything, and the next thing we hear you're in L.A. I mean, what did you do, make some stag films?" He laughed at his own joke.

"That's about the only thing I did not do". I said flatly.

His left eyebrow arched and he said softly, "Oh man, am I going to need a drink for this one?"

"You might want to make it a double", I said as I prepared to spill my guts.

And then I told him everything. Once or twice he interrupted me for clarification, but mostly he just remained silent as I told him my story.

4: Prelude

"Walt?" He asked incredulous, "Why Walt? Why did you use that name?"

"As in Disney" I replied, "I figured I was in the land of make-believe and..."

"Wow, it's almost to much to comprehend," and then he smiled, "But dude, I understand why someone would pay for that ass of yours, as well as your cock...Christ knows I've missed them."

And then he added, "You know out of the three of you, Andy and Stu and you, you've always been the primo fuck."

I smirked and said, "Oh yeah, how many times did you fuck Andy since I was gone?"

"Well what was I supposed to do?" He said, the color rising in his face, "First you go and shack up with Stu, and when that goes south, you head out to California and start selling your ass to the highest fucking bidder!"

He was genuinely mad now, and I was a bit scared, I had no idea what was coming next, but I continued anyway,

"Listen man," I said my voice rising, "I don't need your fucking shit, I don't need any one's fucking shit, I got a lot on my mind and the last fucking thing I need is you getting pissed off at me because you couldn't get your rocks off !"

He charged me then and fell on me, the first punch he threw hit me square in the gut and I fell to the floor until he yanked me up by my hair and hit me with a right hook in the jaw that sent me across the room where I landed sprawled out on the floor...as I rubbed my jaw he paced, his face flush, his chest heaving, his jeans snug revealing a hard-on. He said, "We were supposed to go to college together, we were supposed to move on, motherfucker, do you ever consider anyone but your own selfish self?!"

"What the fuck do I owe you?!" I exclaimed getting to my feet. "Are you going to come out of the closet? Are you going to admit who you are? Or am I going to have to keep playing the buddy of the jock to protect you?!"

I was feeling my own anger now, and in a foolhardy move, I shoved him across the room and he looked at me like a crazy man, but I held my ground and stared him down.

5: Fucked

He charged me again and we fell to the floor and wrestled, he out weighed me, and was much stronger than I, but I put up a fight and refused to be bested by him...and then I felt him tearing at my clothes...and I grabbed his crotch and gave his balls a squeeze and he howled in pain and gave me a sharp open-handed slap across the face that made me see stars...then I felt him drag me over to the bed, my clothes were being torn from my body and he was heaving and growling like an animal and I wanted him so bad at that moment.

When I was naked, he jumped off the bed for a second and took his pants off, his cock standing up straight and then he turned and grabbed the belt from his pants and before I knew it, he was beating my ass with the strap. I screamed and begged for him to stop, but that just made him go at it with more intensity, finally he stopped, and when I thought It was over, he took the belt and put it around my neck making a collar, and he yanked it taught, enough for me to breath, but barely, and yanked my head back and said, "Time to get fucked, you fucking slut!" And then he straddled my back, still holding on to the belt, riding me, and shoved his huge cock deep into my bruised ass.

I screamed out loud, and he shoved something in my mouth to muffle my cries.

Up and down he went, using me and through it all, the pain, the humiliation, the anger, I just wanted more...

...I just wanted more.

While he fucked me, he taunted me, he said, "Fucker, how is that? Huh, did your fucking Aaron fuck you like this? Did your fucking John's fuck you like this, you fucking bastard!"

Somehow I spit the old sock out of my mouth that he used to gag me and I screamed out, "NO! THIS IS WHAT I REALLY WANTED ALL ALONG!"

And then he let go of the belt which slipped off of my neck and fell to the floor and brought his powerful arms around the front of my chest and, while still inside of me, he lifted me up off of the bed and we stood in front of the window, where he continued fucking me. I braced myself against the frame and every time he rammed me, I cursed him out and told him that I hated him, and then I told him I loved him...I sounded like some psychotic sex fiend as I cursed him out all the while proclaiming my love for him.

He let go of my waist and found my nipples which he began pinching roughly, and the sharp pain was so intense that I thought I was going to pass out, and then he brought a hand up to my mouth and put his fingers in there, and I sucked on them and he said my name out loud once.

Just before he came, he pulled out of my ass, and shoved me back down on the floor and said, "Drink it!" I opened my mouth, while on my knees and he shot his red-hot cum onto my face, then he shoved his dick into my throat and when the second wave hit, his jizz filled my mouth and I took all of it, swallowing his angry, hot juice, and I looked up and saw his entire body tense, every well defined muscle looked to be as hard as stone and I felt like I was taking communion from some daemon. His hair, sweat drenched, covered his face and he looked down at me and spit on me and then shot one more load which I took with gratitude...

Although he seemed spent, he fell to his knees in front of me on the floor and with out a word, he began sucking my cock...I held his head firmly on my dick and he worked on it like a maniac and I began fucking his face and I turned my head to the window for a second and saw the Christmas lights reflecting in, making psychedelic patterns on the wall of the bedroom, and I threw my head back and said, "Ah shit" and blew a load into his mouth and while I shook in a violent extremely satisfying orgasm, Chris sucked harder and harder like he was trying to suck my very soul out of my body...I fell forward on top of him and we remained in this odd position for a few moments. The entire time, he never took his mouth off of my cock, even as it relaxed and fell flacid...

6:Bruised

Later on, we lay on the bed smoking a joint. We remained silent, bruised, sweaty, sated. Finally we finished the jay and he turned his head to me and said, "Sorry, I might have got a bit carried away, it's just that..."

"Just what?" I asked staring at the holiday light designs that glowed through the window.

"Ah Christ, you know, I love you, and it make me crazy", he said, his muscualr arm reaching across my torso.

"What do we do now?" I asked.

"Well, tomorrow we go see your dad at the hospital..."

"And after that, what do we do?"

"I don't know", he said, "Can we play it by ear?"

He pulled in close to me and held me and I closed my eyes and hoped for sleep, and just before I dropped off, I thought what indeed would happen next...but at that point I was too damn exhausted to think about anything else, and when sleep did come, it came heavy and dark, for a time, I did not have to think about a damn thing.