1: CarnivalIt was late July, 1978, and the annual summer carnival hosted by the Knights of Columbus was in full swing in my little town.
I was supposed to meet my friend, Hank here; he was straight and had no idea about my sexuality, and as far as I knew, did not know about Chris, Stu or Andy's . As I have mentioned here before, a blue-collar town in South Jersey in the late 70's was not the kind of place that took kindly to gay folk ... still, you know what they say about small towns and secrets.
The carnival was taking place, as it had for fifty years prior, on the ball-field of Saint Sebastian's Catholic grade school.
I got there around eight, and found myself wandering about, taking in the sounds and sights ... and the smells, that odor of sawdust and fried foods was almost magical like incense, returning me to my childhood when my biggest concern was getting on the roller coaster, or having enough money for a snow cone as well as something left over to ride the House of Horrors.
Checking my watch and seeing that my pal was late, I decided to meander about some and as I stood at one of the many wheel of fortunes, "Everyone's a winner!" the barker promised from behind his booth, I saw that a former high school classmate of mine, Jeanie, had spotted me and called out my name. We had not seen each other since New Year's Eve at Chris's party.
"Well hey there, stranger!" she said as she joined me at the booth, "How have you been?"
You know, I might be gay, but Jeanie was beautiful, and she always smelled great; every time I was with her, I cursed my sexuality, some lucky straight guy was going to hook her someday and, for some reason, thinking that, always gave me a slight stab of jealousy.
We gabbed for a few minutes and I laid some money down on the wheel and won her a huge stuffed unicorn.
A half an hour later, she told me that she had to leave, but jotted her phone number down and gave it to me.
I continued waiting amidst the colorful lights, the music from the calliope, the increasing crowds; just losing myself for awhile. Finally, I found a pay phone and called my buddy Hank, only to find out that his car had broken down. We agreed to try again another night.
2: Enter Jerry Duffy
As I began to make my way through the crowds , to the parking lot, I heard someone call my name. Turing to scan the crowd, and not seeing anyone familiar, I started back . Then I heard my name being called ... again.
When I turned this time, I saw a vaguely familiar figure waving me down. He was
standing by the ferris wheel, his long arms moving like an air traffic controller. The closer I got, I realized who it was. His name was Jerry Duffy, he'd graduated a year before me. I'd remembered him from an advanced English class in my junior year. He sat behind me. He was a major jock and a real cut up from what I recalled, and for whatever reason, he was very friendly to me back in the day ... truth be told, I had something of a school-boy crush on him.We shook hands, his was big and beefy... and warm. And then he said, "How have you been? I heard you were living in Los Angeles!"
Ah, small town gossip, I thought as I said, "Nah, just spent a few months out there."
He smiled, and flashed an all American grin, his eyes catching the rainbow of lights from the ferris wheel, "Dude, you must have been getting a lot of pussy on the coast!"
"Something like that," I said fumbling and looking around, feeling embarrassed.
"Hey want to go to the beer garden, we can catch up!"
3: Catching Up
Even before I answered, Jerry put his arm around my shoulder and guided me to the patchwork tent that housed the beer garden.
Buddy Holly blared from the jukebox inside the tent, as we sat on a couple of squeaky folding chairs and ordered a pitcher. Maybe it was the heat: but the cold beer, and the sight of a former secret infatuation of mine, put me in a very relaxed mood.
As we drank, Jerry told me that in the fall he was leaving for Maine, "Bates College in Lewiston," he said lighting up a cigarette, "I had to take a couple of years off after high school and work for a bit, but I managed the tuition and will be going on a work-study program".
I toasted his good fortune and then, out of the blue he asked, "So how's Chris doing?"
Of course, I thought, they were on the football and wrestling teams together for at least two years, they were bound to know each other.
I made some vague remark that he was doing ok, never even dreaming of mentioning the truth. All the while he studied me, his handsome face relaxed but serious ... my god, he really was gorgeous, I thought to myself.
"You guys were pretty tight, If I remember. And there were those other two, can't recall their names, the four of you seemed inseparable".
"Andy and Stu," I said nodding my head.
"Right", he said, refilling my glass. "I never knew those other guys, but Chris talked about you a lot." He shifted in his chair and smiled charmingly continuing, "Hey, this one time, Charlie Gibson over hears Chris and me talking in the locker room about you, and Gibson says to him, 'hey, is he your boyfriend?' -- well, you know Chris and his temper, man he pummeled Gibson to a bloody mess. Man, it took the coach and four other guys to get Chris off of him."
"Yeah, well you know Chris and his short fuse," I offered.
Jerry nodded and said, "The odd thing about that was, when they pulled him of Charlie, Chris was sporting a major hard on ... I never forgot that."
Now I was flushed red, and breaking out in a cold sweat.
And then Jerry said very nonchalantly, "That was the first time I ever sucked a dick ... after everyone else had left, I was trying to calm him down, and one thing lead to another, and ... "
"Jerry", I said interrupting him, "I am not your father confessor, things happen, man, maybe you were just experimenting or something."
"No", he said, his face serene, "It was actually a revelation. Funny thing is, after that first time, he never talked about with me again. In fact, he avoided me."
I sighed and said, "That's Chris. It's the way he is. He's scared of his true self."
Jerry nodded, "That would explain the outbursts".
"You don't know the half of it", I laughed.
Then Jerry laughed and we polished off another pitcher of beer.
4: In the Room of a Million Lights
When I announced that I had to take a wicked piss, Jerry said, "Come on to my house and use the bathroom, not as rank as these plastic out-houses here."
"Where do you live?"
"Across the street", he said making an absent hitchhiker gesture with his thumb over his shoulder.
***
"Is anyone home?" I asked as we entered the small Cape Cod .
"My folks are in Atlantic City for the weekend, and my sister is Florida" he said not turning on any lights.
I was kind of expecting what happened next, so when he reached for my crotch I smiled and said, "Can I pee first?" He laughed and pointed me to the bathroom.
He waited for me outside the bathroom and led me down the dark hall to his bedroom. Again, no lights were turned on, but strangely, none were needed as the lights from the carnival shined brightly into his second floor window turning everything into a spinning wheel of a million lights.
"Jerry", I said somewhat awestruck by the illumination.
"Every year, since as long back as I can remember, I've loved when the carnival came to town because my room turns into this." And with that he approached me and we kissed gently ... and then we began to undo each other's shirts ... and then there was more kissing, and more lights, and when his shirt was off, revealing a rock hard chest I instinctively reached out and gave his nipples a quick pinch.
"Wow", he sighed, "That was hot, do it again".
This time I grabbed on to his tits and gave them both a long hard pinch, and watched as the tall handsome jock shivered in pleasure.
I told him to do the same to me, and soon we stood facing each other, working the other's nipples; digging the sensation of sharp pain that gave way to pleasure.
We drew closer and embraced, kissing now, violently. Our mouths sucking the life force from each other, our tongues clumsily lapping at each other. We were like a couple of horned out teen agers, and it felt great!
Just then, Jerry surprised me by wrapping his well muscled arms around my chest and threw me onto his bed.
Jerry dove on top of me, and we rough-housed and it felt damn good as we wrestled around grabbing at each other's balls, ass slapping ... Jerry was strong, as strong as Chris ... but there was something different, while we were working up a sweat, we were also laughing ... I'd almost forgotten that sex could be playful.
I managed to get the upper hand, and grabbed him around the waist and got him over my knee, "Oh man, I think I need to tan your hide", and I gave his firm, hard ass a couple of quick slaps.
He laughed out loud and then yelled out, "C'mon man, I've been a bad boy!"
That made me laugh and Jerry took the advantage and shifted off me and we rolled around on the bed some more until we found ourselves laying face to face, opposite of each other. He looked over at me, and said, "OK, let's arm wrestle, I'll make you say uncle!" And we
locked arms and tried to best each other, but we couldn't get the other to submit ... and then, looking into his eyes, he let go of my arm and closed in; kissing me, tenderly and sweetly and I closed my eyes and when I opened them, I saw the multi color lights dancing on the ceiling and the walls.I' m not sure when it happened, but suddenly Jerry was at my crotch sucking my cock. Like everything else, this was one part playful enthusiasm, and another, tender love making, he had me gasping in pleasure, clutching the sheets of the bed, trying to catch my breath every time he did something different to my cock.
When I felt myself on the verge of climaxing, I pulled his head back and tried to catch my breath. I looked down on his impossibly handsome face, his full head of hair all corkscrewed, his lips wet, his eyes reflecting the celebratory lights from outside ... "I want your cock", I managed to say.
He lay splayed out on the bed, his long limbs spread while I crouched down at his dick, which was thick and roughly the size of a small skyscraper. Licking my lips, I opened wide and took the whole damn thing into my mouth and Jerry cried out, "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" so loud that I actually jumped.
"NO!" He pleaded, "God, don't stop! Please!"
That's all I needed.
I tried every trick I knew and sucked the black Irish stud as best as I could and all the while he moaned and groaned and pleaded and begged and sighed ... until finally, I felt him tense up and then felt his midsection rise slightly and once more he cried out another obscene reference to god that was followed by a huge blast of cum that shot down my throat so quickly, I had no time to react to it.
When his second wave hit, he jerked his hips so sharply that he knocked me off his cock and I watched as another stream of his jizz shot up in the air, illuminated by the carnival lights, it looked like fireworks.
When he was through, he pulled me towards him, and with out a word, he was back down at my crotch sucking away.
Now, I lay back and watched as his head bobbed up and down.
"Oh man, Jerry, you are gonna make me cum!" I said through gritted teeth. Once more he pulled off of me and said, "Cum on my chest".
Pulling back once more, I positioned myself so that I straddled him and jerked off looking into his beautiful dark eyes and when I finally climaxed, I threw my head back and shouted his name while a messy load of my seed splashed all over his chest and his face.5: An Hour Later
We were cleaned up, but still in his bed. The millions of lights continued making surreal constellations around us and we smoked a cigarette .
"You know", I said, "I had this major crush on you when I was in 11th grade".
He smiled sleepily at me and said, "If I'd known then, just think of how things might have turned out for us."
"Yeah", I said quietly
"Do you love Chris?" he asked.
"That's a tough question."
"It's simple, yes or no" he said laying his head on my chest.
I never answered his question, I just held him and said, "Isn't this good enough for now?"
"It'll do", he sighed closing his eyes.
And it did ...
...one month later Jerry Duffy left for college, and I never saw nor heard from him again.
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