And In The End...

It's been both fun and somewhat therapeutic keeping this blog for the past couple of years, but for the most part the tales have been told and the story is over.

For those of you that need resolution, this is for you.

Andy: is alive and well and living in New York City. He owns a small successful business and has been in a committed relationship for almost ten years now. We see each other about twice a year.

Stu: passed away this past March. His sister called to give me the news. He committed suicide, there was no note and those close to him say that they had no idea what might have caused him to do this. In keeping with his wishes, there was no ceremony. He had been living in New England doing freelance illustrating as well as computer graphics at the time of his death.

Needless to say, I was devastated when I heard this. He was my first true love.

I hope he has found peace.

Chris: has been married three times. He has two daughters from his first and second marriage. He is currently divorced and still lives in Colorado where he manages a software distribution company.

I got an email from him when Stu died, it was the first time I had heard from him since 1986. He asked me to come see him in Colorado. I turned down his invitation but wished him well.

Van: still works with me. He is doing very well and recently met a guy that he is head over heels for (took him long enough!).

Aaron: I only heard from Aaron once after my time in L.A., and that was a phone call in early 1978. I have no idea what became of him. I hope he is well and happy.

Jon: moved to Europe in the early 90's and last I heard, he is now living happily in London working for the BBC.

Rick: and I are still together. He is still the most beautiful guy I have ever met, and has been my rock these many years. He hates this blog, by the way, and is always threatening to delete it!

Be that as it may, we have now been together for over twenty years - which has got to be some kind of record for a gay couple. I still love him like I've never loved anyone. He is one in a million and I am damn lucky to have him.


and that, as they say. is that.

Thanks for reading the Milkman's Baby.

Triad

I held the back of Jon's head firmly as he sucked me off. His tongue lapping and assaulting my prick, saliva dripping from his mouth to his chin and landing onto his chest. He gagged often, but never stopped and when he put his hands on my ass and pulled me forward, I threw my head back and gasped in pleasure.

Then I began fucking his face in earnest, wanting nothing more than to cum in his mouth and have him drink my spunk.

Just then, my eye caught Rick, who was sitting on a chair by the wall; his cock was at full staff as he stroked it, his reddish hair covered in sweat, his chest glistening in the late twilight that filled the room.

When I locked eyes with him I felt myself explode in pleasure and shot, as I wanted to, my load into Jon. I cried out an obscenity and closed my eyes. When I opened them, I saw Rick in the the throws of an orgasm, his seed flying up into the air, his face gone all scarlet, and as he moaned in pleasure, I took my cock out of Jon's mouth and made the last few drops of jizz land on the beautiful little stud's face.

In the spring of 1988, Rick and I were very much a couple, but it was becoming clear that Jon was more than just a fuck buddy to the both of us; and so, for a time, we sort of formed a three-some, a triad, a triangle of lovers.

Sometimes I felt that my heart was being tugged in two different directions, as both Rick and Jon had found corners of it to occupy. Of course, the old open-minded hippie in me said "go with it", but the sensible 1980's version of me thought, "this will never do".

But when you have two horny guys at your beck and call, the sex is great...and sometimes that is enough to justify anything.

Like the first time I watched as Jon topped Rick and fucked him ... as I lay sprawled out on the bed stroking my aching cock, I witnessed a first. Rick had never been fucked by Jon before, but at my coaxing he agreed, and Jon served up a severe ass pounding that left Rick sore for days. Of course, I knew that Rick dug pain, and he was also into humiliation scenes, so I egged on Jon as best I could, and the kid did not disappoint.

Of course after Jon shot his load up Rick's tender ass, I threw the top man down and plowed him and had Rick fuck his face...and as we both reached an orgasm, we leaned into each other and kissed passionately as Jon took two loads, one up the ass and one in his mouth...

When the boys were feeling particularly randy, they'd both attack me, and I always gave in. One of them would go at my cock, sucking me off for all he was worth, while the other would bite at my nipples driving me to a point of sheer carnal overload. Often during these scenes, I'd fuck both of them, staring with Jon's tight ass, and finishing up in Rick's beautiful butt and then we'd collapsing into a pile while they both jerked off covering the three of us in gallons of sticky seed.

I loved to fuck Jon while Rick was watching. I don't know why, but this always turned me on. Usually, Rick would be at my side kissing me in that intense style of his, or fondling my ass, or stroking my nuts while I plowed his buddy. More often than not, just as I was about to cum, he'd get behind me and shove his cock up my ass just at the right time, and I shoot a monster load while my lover pounded me like a crazed jack-rabbit.

Sex aside, there is something else pleasurable about a three-way; it's that special feeling that happens in the morning when one wakes up with a lover on either side. It banishes all doubt about what is acceptable, it reveals the possibility of what can be with an open heart as well as an open mind...

...but how long could this Utopian relationship last?

Hip To Be Square

1: Welcome Back Stranger
May of 1985.

He had cut his hair, it was shorter now, and combed back into something of a D.A., and it made his features more intense; his dark deep set eyes, that expressive brow, his strong chin...he'd let his body hair grow, his chest now thick with a carpet of dark curly fur. Also, he was more solid and muscular than ever.

I felt weak in the knees just watching him undress.

It had been almost six months since the last time we had been together. Being in Denver for an advanced class in public speaking, as well as some graduate studies; Chris had returned to me, an adult. No longer the big boy with the unruly mop of curly hair -- today, he stood before me, a young man well on his way.

Honestly, I'd always figured that he would break out of blue collar New Jersey. Behind that tough guy facade was a cool, calculating person. Someone who would excel in the business world, or maybe even politics (when he needed to, Chris could be as charming as a snake oil salesman).

That said, his first words to me when he showed up at my apartment were, "I am going to fuck you until you can't walk anymore."

Thankfully, not everything about him had changed.

Slamming the door behind him and pushing me into the living room, he put his arms around me and gave me an impossibly brutal kiss that knocked the wind out of me. I instinctively went for his shirt and he stopped me, "No wait, this is an expensive shirt, can't afford to rip it."

And with that he undressed, neatly folding each article of clothing and putting it into a small pile onto the coffee table.

I did not what to make of this, but I respected it and took my own clothes off, tossing them into the corner with out a thought. The entire time I watched him, my body was tingling with excitement, my cock throbbing like an electrical current was running through it.

When we were both naked, he took me into his arms and we kissed passionately, he tasted of spearmint. He smelled good also, "Is that aftershave?" I laughed slightly.

"Fucking hick," he said tightening his grip on me, "It's Jovan Musk for Men".

And with that, he shoved my face into his chest, and I breathed in deeply, loosing myself in the forest of thick chestnut brown foliage. For years, he'd shaved his chest, something I always teased him about, and now with this Neanderthal expanse of fur covering him I was going nuts with lust.

I began by licking him and then chewing on the hair, it was everywhere and beyond the odor of cologne, I smelled the familiar odor of someone I had known for a very long time. It was like coming home.

He grabbed the back of my head and pushed me toward his left nipple, and I latched on to it and bit it lightly, and then sucked it while my hands roamed freely up and down his well muscled arms, feeling for the rock-hard biceps that he intentionally tensed up just for me.

I went down on his dick quickly and gagged when he slammed it into my mouth. I knew from years of experience that this would not stop him, and true to form, he started fucking my face. His hips slamming into me, his hands holding my head firmly so that I could not slip off even if I wanted to. I reached around and held onto his tight ass cheeks for support and swallowed his prick, and then I heard him laugh a deep rich chuckle and murmur, "Good boy, get it nice and wet", he said as he reached down and gave my right nipple a sharp tweak that sent knife like stabs of pleasure through me.

He yanked out of my mouth abruptly and pushed me to the floor where I landed flat on my back.

"On your belly, bitch", he demanded. I flipped over and with out a moment's pause, he was riding me like a bronco, his cock burrowed deep into me, the pain overwhelming and I let out a groan of pain.

"Shut the fuck up and take it!" He barked, slapping my ass so hard that it felt like I was struck by a leather belt.

As my body was being savaged, he decided to pour it on even thicker by grabbing my left arm and pulling it up, pinning it behind my back. I threw my head back and let out a deep, loud bellow of agony causing him to tighten the hold.

Counter irritation is what he'd called this. One more bit of pain that cancels out the other.

It was Sadism 101, Chris style.

He responded by banging me even harder. My entire body now was rocked by his movements, it was like being had by a force of nature; even if I wanted to, I could not escape this.

Just before he was about to cum, he pulled out of me, and flipped me over like a sack of laundry and shoved his prick in my face and told me to open my mouth up. And when I did, a geyser of his seed sprayed into it while he cursed up a blue streak.

I could not contain myself at this point, so I reached for my own piece and started jerking it with both hands. Chris saw what I was doing and straddled my mid section, sitting on my throbbing cock, like he had done many times before, and as his mouth opened in a silent scream, I rammed my hips upward watching his face grow even more scarlet in color while I secretly savored his pain and my pleasure.

And then I exploded, a volcano of cum which I pumped into his guts, and he kept moving up and down, his tight ass coaxing more and more of my juice ... and I closed my eyes to the colors that exploded behind them and whispered his name over and over.

2: Rinse Lather Repeat

Twenty minutes later, he was fucking me again; this time in the shower.

I braced myself on the wet tile walls for dear life as he assaulted my ass, and every now and again he'd reach under me and pinch my nipples.

I shot another load while he was still inside of me.

He came up my ass and pulled me towards him, biting at the back of my neck while he spasmed in pleasure.

***

Clean, dry, and sore, I collapsed on my bed and watched as he made his way around my bedroom. He brushed his hair and then used some of my deodorant. When he was through, he dived onto the bed next to me and said, matter-of-factly,

"So how have you been?"

I reached for the pack of cigarettes on the bedside table and smiled saying, "I've been good".

I offered him one and he put his hand up, "Nah, quit them, my personal trainer read me the riot act."

"Your personal what?" I asked putting the pack down.

"My trainer, man. The gym I joined out in Denver offers them half price to students", he said as put his arm around me nuzzling my neck.

"Hold on a sec," I said, sitting up, "You come back with this new look, you quit smoking, you've joined a gym ... I mean what's going on in Colorado. Did the Mormons get a hold of you or something?"

"Nah," he smirked, "It's just that I've been exposed to a whole other world. Times are changing, and I want the good life. I'll be damned if I settle for some crap life like my parents had. Christ, my old man left me and my mom, she had to work two jobs ..."

Shaking my head, I said, "No, Chris, I understand that, I understand wanting to better yourself, but you seem to have adapted to it rather quickly."

"Sink or swim, pal". He said as his hand casually stroked my cock.

"And something else," he added, "I want you to move out west with me. I know it's a lot to ask, but I have thought long and hard about this, and it's the god's honest truth: I need you with me, in my life. I want to share all of this with you ... in six months, you won't believe what I've been exposed to, there is a whole new world out there, Chico, and you and me, together, brother, we could set the world on fire."

I was stunned and silent as he continued.

"Think of it. You could get your Master's too! Then the both of us will be good and done with this damn town and it's provincial mind-set."

"Wait", I said trying to absorb everything, "When did Denver become San Francisco? Are you saying that our being gay would be easier there?"

"It is, if you know how to play the game. Come on, remember what I used to tell you, Andy and Stu all of the time?"

Nodding my head I repeated the mantra, "What you do in private is your business, the

face you show in public, though, belongs to the world."

And then I asked, "So we pretend we are straight for the rest of our damn lives?"

"Chico, listen to me," he said rather parental,"the world is catching up. It just takes some time, if you play by the rules, eventually you can reveal your true self."

He continued on for about an hour, not only talking about hiding in plain sight, but also about stock investments (cable TV, computers, telecommunications - the wave of the future, sure to make us rich!), real estate, and how he was going for a dual major in business administration.

I couldn't believe my ears, the guy who had been fucking my brains out for almost ten years, the guy who used to smoke more dope and drink more beer than anyone I ever knew, the guy who used to lecture me about selling out, was becoming a mother-fucking yuppie!

Finally, out of desperation, and maybe just to get my bearings again, I leaned over and put his cock in my mouth, sucking him off to an orgasm and successfully shutting him up for twenty minutes.

3: The Power Ties That Bind

After that odd day in May, Chris moved back to New Jersey for the summer. He stayed at his mother's house, but spent most of his time at my apartment.

I was working days at my social work job, and Chris was doing an internship at an investment firm in Philadelphia.

I joined a gym at his insistence, we worked out almost every morning before going to our jobs, and in the evenings he'd peruse the Wall Street Journal, while I was scanning Rolling Stone.

One night, he came home from work wearing a black suit, crisp white shirt and a red silk tie. He looked fantastic and I told him so. He slowly unbuttoned his shirt and undid his tie and said, "I love you." And then he told me to put my arms behind my back. I obliged his request, and he took the tie and tightly bound my hands together and pushed me to my knees.

I watched as he freed his cock from his slacks and as his thick member jutted forth from them.

"Suck it", he said as he pulled my head forward.

I worked on his cock relishing his moans and groans of pleasure while wondering what else he had in mind.

It did not take long...

Pulling me up to my feet by my hair, he walked me to the doorway of the bedroom and removed my clothes. Then he lifted my arms up and secured the tie to a nail above the door jam. Taking another tie from a drawer he reinforced my hands snugly.

Holding my breath in anticipation, I watched as his fists balled up and he threw the first of several vicious jabs to my gut.

As my body jerked from the blows, he stood smirking and stroking his cock through his pants. I could see his magnificent chest peeking thorough his undone shirt, and all I wanted to do was to worship it with my tongue.

His face set in a sadistic look of determination, he landed several more punches to my torso, each one sounding like a flat drum beat. My head fell back for a second and then I stared him down in spite of the pain.

"That's right," he said menacingly, "you can take it".

And this time he gave me a sharp slap across my face that stung like a thousand bee stings ... and in spite of the pain, or because of it, my cock grew harder by the second.

Then he reached down and gave my balls a tug and laughed as I squirmed.

Stepping back from me for a minute, he quickly disrobed, and lay his clothes on the sofa, and then, completely naked, with his own cock at full staff, he reached forward and grabbed at my nipples squeezing and pinching them until I let out a roar, and my body seized up in torment. I began pleading now, and the more I did, the harder his grip on my chest became until finally, with both of us pulling and pushing, the tie that held my arms up came free and I fell into him breathing heavily while cursing him out.

In a matter of seconds, he had his powerful arms around me, knocking the breath out of my body while he secured me in a bear hug, lifting me up and then lowering me, his face a fiery red mask of savage domination.

We struggled about on the bedroom floor, until I surprised, even myself, by getting the upper hand.

With my left arm around his neck, I had him in a choke-hold and drove him down to the bed, and while he tried to break away, he simply could not.

Relishing this reversal of fortune, I laid a couple of cheap shots into the small of his back with my right fist, and then released him, flipped him over, and straddled his chest, my cock heavy with jizz dripping onto his chest.

He looked up at me, his eyes crazy with lust, and maybe something else (was that fear I saw?); and decided to give him a little taste of his own medicine by bitch slapping him a few times across the face. Every time I did, he seemed shocked, until finally, a crazy toothy grin smiled up at me and I knew he was as turned on as I was.

I suspected this: over the years, while Chris was the dominator, he often wanted someone else to dominate him.

So be it.

Enjoying my new found position, I shoved my cock into his mouth and said the same thing he'd always say to me when I was giving him head, "Get it good and wet!"

He almost sucked me off to an orgasm, so I had to pull out at the last second, because I wanted to fuck that jock ass of his.

Turning him back over, I decided to play a bit first, and I sort of went nuts, paddling his firm butt until his cheeks glowed a fiery, angry red.

"Mother fucker!" he yelled out over and over again.

"Shut up, punk", I replied back smacking him even harder.

Finally, at full throttle, I spit onto his asshole a few times and fingered him while he squirmed on the bed, and then I rammed my cock into him instantly and he screamed out my name and then called me a host of obscene things ... I laughed and said, "Shut the fuck up and take it!"

It felt funny using his coital exclamations, but at the same time, it was a major turn on.

His tight ass took me, and I rammed him for all I was worth and in a matter of minutes, we were one in that bed, our bodies connected and electric as spasms of pleasure rolled over us.

Just before I was about to cum, I pulled out and shoved my cock in his face and he opened his mouth and my seed shot into him and he took it, lapping it up, drinking it; all the while I was in an orgasmic haze of pleasure.

When I was done he pulled me down and kissed me, and I tasted my cum and his spearmint saliva.

Then I lay next to him, holding his sweaty, hairy, muscular body and worshiped him with my tongue while he beat off to a messy, satisfying orgasm ... we kissed again while his body arched and his cum sprayed into the air and down on both of us.


We stayed in bed for another hour or so, holding each other, hugging, and even when our cocks grew hard again we merely embraced and kissed.

And then, he turned to me and said, "Can I have a cigarette?"...

An Indiscretion On The Midway

1: Carnival
It was late July, 1978, and the annual summer carnival hosted by the Knights of Columbus was in full swing in my little town.

I was supposed to meet my friend, Hank here; he was straight and had no idea about my sexuality, and as far as I knew, did not know about Chris, Stu or Andy's . As I have mentioned here before, a blue-collar town in South Jersey in the late 70's was not the kind of place that took kindly to gay folk ... still, you know what they say about small towns and secrets.

The carnival was taking place, as it had for fifty years prior, on the ball-field of Saint Sebastian's Catholic grade school.

I got there around eight, and found myself wandering about, taking in the sounds and sights ... and the smells, that odor of sawdust and fried foods was almost magical like incense, returning me to my childhood when my biggest concern was getting on the roller coaster, or having enough money for a snow cone as well as something left over to ride the House of Horrors.

Checking my watch and seeing that my pal was late, I decided to meander about some and as I stood at one of the many wheel of fortunes, "Everyone's a winner!" the barker promised from behind his booth, I saw that a former high school classmate of mine, Jeanie, had spotted me and called out my name. We had not seen each other since New Year's Eve at Chris's party.

"Well hey there, stranger!" she said as she joined me at the booth, "How have you been?"

You know, I might be gay, but Jeanie was beautiful, and she always smelled great; every time I was with her, I cursed my sexuality, some lucky straight guy was going to hook her someday and, for some reason, thinking that, always gave me a slight stab of jealousy.

We gabbed for a few minutes and I laid some money down on the wheel and won her a huge stuffed unicorn.

A half an hour later, she told me that she had to leave, but jotted her phone number down and gave it to me.

I continued waiting amidst the colorful lights, the music from the calliope, the increasing crowds; just losing myself for awhile. Finally, I found a pay phone and called my buddy Hank, only to find out that his car had broken down. We agreed to try again another night.

2: Enter Jerry Duffy
As I began to make my way through the crowds , to the parking lot, I heard someone call my name. Turing to scan the crowd, and not seeing anyone familiar, I started back . Then I heard my name being called ... again.

When I turned this time, I saw a vaguely familiar figure waving me down. He was standing by the ferris wheel, his long arms moving like an air traffic controller. The closer I got, I realized who it was. His name was Jerry Duffy, he'd graduated a year before me. I'd remembered him from an advanced English class in my junior year. He sat behind me. He was a major jock and a real cut up from what I recalled, and for whatever reason, he was very friendly to me back in the day ... truth be told, I had something of a school-boy crush on him.

We shook hands, his was big and beefy... and warm. And then he said, "How have you been? I heard you were living in Los Angeles!"

Ah, small town gossip, I thought as I said, "Nah, just spent a few months out there."

He smiled, and flashed an all American grin, his eyes catching the rainbow of lights from the ferris wheel, "Dude, you must have been getting a lot of pussy on the coast!"

"Something like that," I said fumbling and looking around, feeling embarrassed.

"Hey want to go to the beer garden, we can catch up!"

3: Catching Up
Even before I answered, Jerry put his arm around my shoulder and guided me to the patchwork tent that housed the beer garden.

Buddy Holly blared from the jukebox inside the tent, as we sat on a couple of squeaky folding chairs and ordered a pitcher. Maybe it was the heat: but the cold beer, and the sight of a former secret infatuation of mine, put me in a very relaxed mood.

As we drank, Jerry told me that in the fall he was leaving for Maine, "Bates College in Lewiston," he said lighting up a cigarette, "I had to take a couple of years off after high school and work for a bit, but I managed the tuition and will be going on a work-study program".

I toasted his good fortune and then, out of the blue he asked, "So how's Chris doing?"

Of course, I thought, they were on the football and wrestling teams together for at least two years, they were bound to know each other.

I made some vague remark that he was doing ok, never even dreaming of mentioning the truth. All the while he studied me, his handsome face relaxed but serious ... my god, he really was gorgeous, I thought to myself.

"You guys were pretty tight, If I remember. And there were those other two, can't recall their names, the four of you seemed inseparable".

"Andy and Stu," I said nodding my head.

"Right", he said, refilling my glass. "I never knew those other guys, but Chris talked about you a lot." He shifted in his chair and smiled charmingly continuing, "Hey, this one time, Charlie Gibson over hears Chris and me talking in the locker room about you, and Gibson says to him, 'hey, is he your boyfriend?' -- well, you know Chris and his temper, man he pummeled Gibson to a bloody mess. Man, it took the coach and four other guys to get Chris off of him."

"Yeah, well you know Chris and his short fuse," I offered.

Jerry nodded and said, "The odd thing about that was, when they pulled him of Charlie, Chris was sporting a major hard on ... I never forgot that."

Now I was flushed red, and breaking out in a cold sweat.

And then Jerry said very nonchalantly, "That was the first time I ever sucked a dick ... after everyone else had left, I was trying to calm him down, and one thing lead to another, and ... "

"Jerry", I said interrupting him, "I am not your father confessor, things happen, man, maybe you were just experimenting or something."

"No", he said, his face serene, "It was actually a revelation. Funny thing is, after that first time, he never talked about with me again. In fact, he avoided me."

I sighed and said, "That's Chris. It's the way he is. He's scared of his true self."

Jerry nodded, "That would explain the outbursts".

"You don't know the half of it", I laughed.

Then Jerry laughed and we polished off another pitcher of beer.

4: In the Room of a Million Lights
When I announced that I had to take a wicked piss, Jerry said, "Come on to my house and use the bathroom, not as rank as these plastic out-houses here."

"Where do you live?"

"Across the street", he said making an absent hitchhiker gesture with his thumb over his shoulder.

***

"Is anyone home?" I asked as we entered the small Cape Cod .

"My folks are in Atlantic City for the weekend, and my sister is Florida" he said not turning on any lights.

I was kind of expecting what happened next, so when he reached for my crotch I smiled and said, "Can I pee first?" He laughed and pointed me to the bathroom.

He waited for me outside the bathroom and led me down the dark hall to his bedroom. Again, no lights were turned on, but strangely, none were needed as the lights from the carnival shined brightly into his second floor window turning everything into a spinning wheel of a million lights.

"Jerry", I said somewhat awestruck by the illumination.

"Every year, since as long back as I can remember, I've loved when the carnival came to town because my room turns into this." And with that he approached me and we kissed gently ... and then we began to undo each other's shirts ... and then there was more kissing, and more lights, and when his shirt was off, revealing a rock hard chest I instinctively reached out and gave his nipples a quick pinch.

"Wow", he sighed, "That was hot, do it again".

This time I grabbed on to his tits and gave them both a long hard pinch, and watched as the tall handsome jock shivered in pleasure.

I told him to do the same to me, and soon we stood facing each other, working the other's nipples; digging the sensation of sharp pain that gave way to pleasure.

We drew closer and embraced, kissing now, violently. Our mouths sucking the life force from each other, our tongues clumsily lapping at each other. We were like a couple of horned out teen agers, and it felt great!

Just then, Jerry surprised me by wrapping his well muscled arms around my chest and threw me onto his bed.

Jerry dove on top of me, and we rough-housed and it felt damn good as we wrestled around grabbing at each other's balls, ass slapping ... Jerry was strong, as strong as Chris ... but there was something different, while we were working up a sweat, we were also laughing ... I'd almost forgotten that sex could be playful.

I managed to get the upper hand, and grabbed him around the waist and got him over my knee, "Oh man, I think I need to tan your hide", and I gave his firm, hard ass a couple of quick slaps.

He laughed out loud and then yelled out, "C'mon man, I've been a bad boy!"

That made me laugh and Jerry took the advantage and shifted off me and we rolled around on the bed some more until we found ourselves laying face to face, opposite of each other. He looked over at me, and said, "OK, let's arm wrestle, I'll make you say uncle!" And we locked arms and tried to best each other, but we couldn't get the other to submit ... and then, looking into his eyes, he let go of my arm and closed in; kissing me, tenderly and sweetly and I closed my eyes and when I opened them, I saw the multi color lights dancing on the ceiling and the walls.

I' m not sure when it happened, but suddenly Jerry was at my crotch sucking my cock. Like everything else, this was one part playful enthusiasm, and another, tender love making, he had me gasping in pleasure, clutching the sheets of the bed, trying to catch my breath every time he did something different to my cock.

When I felt myself on the verge of climaxing, I pulled his head back and tried to catch my breath. I looked down on his impossibly handsome face, his full head of hair all corkscrewed, his lips wet, his eyes reflecting the celebratory lights from outside ... "I want your cock", I managed to say.

He lay splayed out on the bed, his long limbs spread while I crouched down at his dick, which was thick and roughly the size of a small skyscraper. Licking my lips, I opened wide and took the whole damn thing into my mouth and Jerry cried out, "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" so loud that I actually jumped.

"NO!" He pleaded, "God, don't stop! Please!"

That's all I needed.

I tried every trick I knew and sucked the black Irish stud as best as I could and all the while he moaned and groaned and pleaded and begged and sighed ... until finally, I felt him tense up and then felt his midsection rise slightly and once more he cried out another obscene reference to god that was followed by a huge blast of cum that shot down my throat so quickly, I had no time to react to it.

When his second wave hit, he jerked his hips so sharply that he knocked me off his cock and I watched as another stream of his jizz shot up in the air, illuminated by the carnival lights, it looked like fireworks.

When he was through, he pulled me towards him, and with out a word, he was back down at my crotch sucking away.

Now, I lay back and watched as his head bobbed up and down.

"Oh man, Jerry, you are gonna make me cum!" I said through gritted teeth. Once more he pulled off of me and said, "Cum on my chest".

Pulling back once more, I positioned myself so that I straddled him and jerked off looking into his beautiful dark eyes and when I finally climaxed, I threw my head back and shouted his name while a messy load of my seed splashed all over his chest and his face.

5: An Hour Later
We were cleaned up, but still in his bed. The millions of lights continued making surreal constellations around us and we smoked a cigarette .

"You know", I said, "I had this major crush on you when I was in 11th grade".

He smiled sleepily at me and said, "If I'd known then, just think of how things might have turned out for us."

"Yeah", I said quietly

"Do you love Chris?" he asked.

"That's a tough question."

"It's simple, yes or no" he said laying his head on my chest.

I never answered his question, I just held him and said, "Isn't this good enough for now?"

"It'll do", he sighed closing his eyes.

And it did ...

...one month later Jerry Duffy left for college, and I never saw nor heard from him again.

Everything's Better When Wet

The midsummer sun beat down on my face which was raised up to it, Chris was behind me, his cock slowly working it's way into my ass, I could also feel the warm water of the lake lap at my thighs...to my right was Andy, his hair soaked, reaching down for my cock, yanking slowly on it, coaxing out the first drops of pre-cum. On the other side of me was Stu, kissing at my neck, while his fingers pinched at my nipples, his own cock rubbing up against my leg, soon hands were playing all over my still wet body, I felt like I was being brought to the edge of madness by the friendly molestation that I was undergoing...

During the summer of 1976, my friends and I frequented a small lake that was off the beaten track, hidden deep in the woods of Southern New Jersey. We had to park the car on a dirt road, and then trek, by foot, a half a mile until we came upon the clearing where the body of water sat bathed in sunshine as no trees surrounded it. This was a magic place, that seemed to be known only to us.

We brought a cooler full of beer and food, some weed and blankets, and a transistor radio which was tuned to a local rock and roll station, and once we got set up, we peeled down to our swim suits.

Chris wore a pair of Speedos, Stu had on a well worn pair of denim cut offs that were so snug the outline of his cock was plainly seen, Andy wore a plain black pair of trunks and I wore an old pair of soccer shorts.

Before we dove in, a bowl was passed around and we all smoked, and then, one by one, the water's surface was smashed as we dove in.

The water in the small lake was as warm as a bath and soon the horseplay began.

Chris swum up behind me and put his arms around my waist and then dragged me down into the water, he held me under for a few seconds and then let go; I popped up coughing out water and before I could say anything, I felt someone tugging at my shorts. The next thing I knew, Andy was holding my shorts in his hand laughing out loud.

"You fucking punk," I chuckled as I dove for him and we fell back into the water. He tried to grab for my balls but missed ... in a matter of seconds we were flaying about in the lake, laughing and taking pot shots at each other ... soon the four of us were going for each other's swimming attire. Somehow, Chris managed to get out of the water and stood on the shoreline for a minute watching the three of us cavort. I caught a glimpse of him, looking so beautiful in front of the cobalt sky ... and then he stripped out of his tights and dived back into the water...

The radio, that was sitting under a tree near the cooler, was playing playing something by Led Zeppelin. Kashmir. It was hypnotic and sexy.

Just then I went back under water and swum over to Stu, I came back up to the surface and he turned and saw me and smiled and we kissed just as a mild wind blew the smell of pine trees and wild roses through the air. While we kissed, I reached under water and undid his cutoffs and tossed them onto the shore line. His cock was rigid and I took it in hand, gave it a tug and then fell to my back and floated away for a second, my eyes blinded by the summer sun...

Now the four of us were naked and I fancied that we looked like that Thomas Eakins painting that hung in the old dusty town library ... how many hours had I spent as a kid transfixed by that very picture?

Buck naked, the four of us climbed out of the water and shared another bowl of dope ... Season of The Witch by Donovan played on the radio as I watched my brothers, so beautiful, so young and so full of life drenched in the summer sun.

After we killed the pipe, we all made our way back to the water. Chris was behind me and he pulled me to the pond's edge and kissed me and then turned me around. The midsummer sun beat down on my face which was raised up to it, Chris was behind me, his cock slowly working it's way into my ass, I could also feel the warm water of the lake lap at my thighs...to my right was Andy, his hair soaked, reaching down for my cock, yanking slowly on it, coaxing out the first drops of pre-cum. On the other side of me was Stu, kissing at my neck, while his fingers pinched at my nipples, his own cock rubbing up against my leg, soon hands were playing all over my still wet body, I felt like I was being brought to the edge of madness by the friendly molestation that I was undergoing.

Chris was in me now, his cock assaulting my hole and I gasped, and just then, Stu bent over and started sucking on my cock, I closed my eyes and moaned in exquisite pleasure ... Andy found my mouth and kissed me, and I brought my arms up to pull him closer to me ... and now the four of us were together, a mass of flesh with one goal.

Somehow we made our way out of the pond to the shore line and a couple of blankets were spread out. I lay flat on my stomach and one by one, the guys took a piece of me. As The Allman Brothers played on the radio, Chris pumped me silly and just before he was about to come, Stu took over, and then Andy followed him. I loved it, that feeling of each one of them fucking me, each in his own distinct fashion.

When Andy was through, I turned over on my back and Stu mounted me, his cock instantly slipping into me and when I looked up at him, his beautiful face somewhat obliterated by the summer sun, I reached for him and pulled him forward, as if I could mesh with him, become one with him.

He fucked me with a purpose, and I was his, lock stock and two smoking barrels!

With each thrust, I yelled out in pain, but at the same time I egged him on for more. Chris and Andy knelt at our sides, stroking their own cocks as they watched me getting fucked, and it turned me on to no end ... when Chris leaned in and gave Stu a passionate kiss, I reached up and gave his nipples a tweak knowing that it what send him over the rainbow and it did.

He cried out, "Mother fucker!" and shot a load into me.

Now it was my turn, and I was gunning for some ass. I grabbed Andy threw him down where I was just laying and climbed onto his back, his ass was so tight and firm and I was so fucking horny that I did not even bother spitting on my cock first. He screamed so loud when I mounted him that it echoed through the woods, but it did not stop me and with Chris and Stu cheering me on, I fucked Andy's ass like a sex crazed wild man ... Stu started playing with my nipples and Chris kissed me deeply and earnestly and that was all I needed to shoot a gallon of cum into the little guy squirming beneath me.

"Take it like a man!" Chris barked at Andy.

And I closed my eyes and let out a deep feral growl as my body was seized by quakes of pleasure, and as soon as I'd come back to earth, Chris took my place and I stood back and watched him fuck Andy ... Stu was at my side now and he kissed me again and we embraced in the hot summer afternoon and once more I smelled the pine and wild roses and, son of a bitch, my cock was growing hard again ... and then I heard Chris let out a howl and knew that he'd just had his orgasm...

The three of us surrounded Andy and each took turns at his throbbing cock, teasing the head of it with our tongues, pinching his nipples, restraining his arms so that he could not move, and finally, Chris lifted him to his knees and Stu and I watched as the little stud jerked his piece until it shot a projectile stream of cum across the grass. Andy threw his head back and screamed again while Chris continued manhandling his nipples...

Exhausted, we broke into the food into the cooler and ate some sandwiches and drank some beer and then relaxed for awhile on the blankets while the transistor radio played on, and finally, we all got back into the lake and it was like a baptism, cooling and healing our sore sated bodies.

And once more I thought of that painting by Thomas Eakins...

My Love Is In League With the Freeway

...we stood, arms intertwined behind each other's backs, in front of the cracked mirror in that hot, dusty motel room and I looked at our reflection; his hairy sweat drenched chest still heaving in post coital satisfaction, my face flushed red from the same. And then we kissed. The hot skin of our chests pressed together, our mouths connected, my head spinning...what the fuck was I doing?

***

Back in the early 80's, much of Southern New Jersey was farmland and open roads. To the untrained eye, one might think that he was driving somewhere out in the Midwest as he passed miles and miles of cornfields or woods choked with pine trees.

Old motels dotted some of the back roads, built, one suspects, for the weary traveler making his way to or from the shore points that fill the eastern most edges of the state. With the advent of the Parkway, most of these old motels were used mostly for those looking for an afternoon delight or an address where no one could find them.

My fuck buddy, Van, was fond of the Jersey Devil Motor court which sat just off county road 611 just outside one of the state parks.

We had spent a long hot day at the beach and on the way home Van suggested we spend the night at the JD. I looked over at him in the passenger seat, he was wearing nothing but a pair of shorts, his hairy chest wet with sweat, his dirty blond hair all askew. I reached over and grabbed his crotch and he smiled at me.

Officially, Van was still married. He had moved out of his home, his wife getting the place he had broke his back paying for, she also kept his car, and most importantly, she kept his children. He had some visiting rights, and for that he was grateful; but for the most part, this was wrecking him ... so, I remained a loyal friend and confidant. I did what I could, mostly I guided him on his sexual journey.

That journey had begun months earlier at work when he confessed to me that he was gay, and one thing lead to another, and we became fuck buddies.

I discovered over time, that Van enjoyed being dominated, and that was cool, I understood it. At work he was the go-to-guy, the top man. He was damn good at his job as a social worker, on a daily basis fighting the good fight; meanwhile his personal life was going to hell...so when it came time to hit the sheets, he wanted someone else to be in control.

That said, our relationship was what it was; there were no emotional entanglements, or so I thought ...

We checked into the Jersey Devil at around six o clock that early summer night. And once we got our room, we stripped down and immediately went at each other; Van was all over me, licking at my chest, kissing me, his hands going all over my body until they finally found my cock which he held on to tightly like a prize of some sort.

He quickly got on his knees and rubbed my dick all over his face. I could feel his hot breath down there and he was making me crazy with anticipation. I reached down and pushed his head towards my cock whispering, "Come on, man, now", and he opened his mouth and began sucking me off.

I closed my eyes and threw my head back and groaned in ecstasy, sweat dripping off me due to the heat as well as my libido.

It did not take long for me to shoot a load, and Van took it all, swallowing my seed and staying on my cock, draining every last drop out of me until I got weak in the knees and fell to the squeaky bed.

He climbed onto the bed, joining me, kissing me, all over, working from my crotch, then to my belly, and finally up to my chest where he landed biting at my tits ... I was getting hard again so I grabbed his huge cock and pulled him towards me and this time I kissed his mouth, tenderly and with passion. Then I pulled back for a second and looked at him, I don't think he knew how beautiful he was; and in the glow of the fading summer sun, he looked almost other-worldly, like an angel.

Then I went down on him, slowly taking his thick piece into my mouth, savoring it, swallowing it, I could still smell the aroma of coconut on him, that beach odor, and I wanted to eat him alive.

He was shaking now, I knew he was gone, so I cupped his ball sack with a free hand, and with the other went for his left nipple and gave it a tweak, all the while, sucking him off as best I could ... when I felt him begin to stiffen and arch his back, I swiftly removed my hand from his nuts and brought a couple of fingers to his asshole, and as soon as I connected with his tight hole, he came in my mouth and let out a shout ... he tasted sweet, almost as sweet as coconut ... but maybe that was just because that the smell of the tanning oil on his body was overwhelming ...

When he was through we kissed again, and the passion from earlier was still there, this was more than just a friendly kiss shared by buddy's ... it scared me, but it was so beautiful and so perfect, I just went with it.

Fifteen minutes later, we lay in bed nursing a couple of cold beers; as we swigged the chilled brew nothing was said. From outside, I could hear a woman yelling something until finally a car in bad need of a new muffler roared to life and took the screaming woman with it.

It was dusk now, and a breeze began to blow the moth eaten curtains bringing in a slightly cooler temperature. It felt wonderful.

Then I turned to my left and looked at him, his cock fully erect again, as was mine, and he said, "I have to tell you something, I think I'm falling in love with you."

"NO!" I said, sitting up, my bottle of beer falling from my hands and to the floor spilling everywhere, "Don't ruin it, man! Just enjoy it, don't over think it, don't over analyze it", I was going into panic mode now, "It's just that I am the first guy you've been with, you are confusing sex with romance, big difference dude, trust me, BIG difference..."

And he put his hand over my mouth and said softly, "Don't tell me what I'm feeling, I know what this is, and I can't help it..."

I fell back on the bed and said, "Van, you don't want me, trust me, my love is in league with the freeway!"

He laughed out loud and said, "What the fuck does that mean?"

"It means that when ever I don't have a good come back, I quote a line from a song", I said flatly.

"It's OK, I'll work this through, I guess it's kind of like falling in love with your therapist", he said without a hint of irony in his voice.

"Yeah, something like that", I said staring up at the ceiling which was full of water spots.

After that, he turned on his side and fell asleep. A few minutes later, I did the same.

***

A loud crash of thunder woke me at around two in the morning. I sat up in bed with a start and saw the Van was not there. Blindly I made my way across the small motel room until I heard the shower running in the powder room. I paused for a minute and then grabbed another beer out of the cooler. After I took a swig I went on a search for cigarettes and found my pack on the dresser. I lit up and went to the window and was greeted by a strobe of lightning followed by another thunder clap that made me jump out of my skin. I saw from the light in the parking lot that it had not rained, this was heat lightning ... strangely, the night had grown warmer. I blew smoke out the open window and I did not even hear Van as he came back into the bedroom.

He slipped his arm around my waist and lay his still damp body against my back. He smelled of Ivory soap and faintly of some kind of after shave. I cursed myself for it, but I was getting aroused again.

I turned to him and said, "Look, I'm sorry I acted the way I did earlier..."

"It's OK," he said, his face solemn, "I understand where you are coming from, and I don't want to scare you away ... I just need to know that you won't take off now."

"Never, man, never, I swear."

We kissed again and then I said, "Let me go grab a quick shower, I'm feeling kind of ripe."

And with that I made my way to the bathroom and showered.

When I came back out, Van was sitting up in bed, his cock at full mast.

I dived on to the bed and yanked at his member saying, "Brother, you have got one huge fucking piece," and I slowly stroked it making a fist that engulfed his prick. As I squeezed it tighter I said, "Why don't you fuck me? I mean, I saw you in action that one time last spring in North Jersey, you threw a great fuck into that guy at that garage..."

He smiled at me and said, "Yeah, but I like getting fucked, especially by you, I love how aggressive you get, it really turns me on."

"Well, I can be just as aggressive under you brother"...

I lay on the bed while he lubed up, and as soon as I felt the tip of his cock at my butt I yelled out, "Come on baby! Fuck me like you mean it! I want it hard, I want to remember this, don't let me down, punk!"

When his cock slipped in, I gasped, not at all prepared for the girth of it at all, but I kept playing, yelling out, "Yeah! Now ride me, you mother fucker! Come on, you know you want to!" When he slapped my ass, I laughed out loud and said, "That's what I'm talkin' bout!"

His cock felt so good, and It was cool to have some one else in the drivers seat, such as it was, for a bit.

He fucked me at a steady pace for a few minutes and then he cried out, "Gonna shoot!" and he pulled out and sprayed a stream of his jizz all over my back.

I was about to get up off the bed, when Van dashed into the bathroom and took a towel and cleaned my back off.

"Thanks", I said, and then I pushed him down on the bed and said, "Now I get some of the beautiful ass of yours, bitch."

I spit on the head of my cock and dived on top of him as he lay on his stomach. His tight ass was a challenge as always, but eventually I got in and he started moaning in pain. Slowly, I pumped him and every time I went in he would gasp.

Finally, I started pounding him and he began bucking like a wild stallion and smashing his fists into the mattress, biting at the pillows. I smacked at his ass a few times and called him a bitch and he cried out, "YES!"... and I was off to the races...

When I felt the orgasm coming I held my breath, I really did not want to cum just yet, but it was as if Van's body knew what I was thinking, and it seemed that his asshole tightened around my cock, and I lost all control shooting my load up into his guts, my eyes rolling into the back of my head, the room going gray and then, engulfed in pleasure, I fell onto his back and bit him on his shoulder, the sound of his screams like music to my ears...

...Exhausted, I fell on top of him and was about to say something when he pushed me off of him and worked his way free and then pulled me off the bed...

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked.

He pulled me over to the dresser, to the mirror with a huge crack in it and said, "Look".

We stood, arms intertwined behind each other's backs, in front of the cracked mirror in that hot, dusty motel room and I looked at our reflection; his hairy sweat drenched chest still heaving in post coital satisfaction, my face flushed red from the same. And then we kissed. The hot skin of our chests pressed together, our mouths connected, my head spinning...what the fuck was I doing?

"Do you see what I see?" he asked after we finished kissing.

Finally I turned to him, and took him in my arms and held him as tight as I could and whispered in his ear, " Remember, my love is in league with the freeway", and he laughed and said back to me, "Stop quoting Robert Plant and just enjoy this..."

And we kissed again, and once more a crash of thunder filled the room, and once more I wondered, what the fuck I was doing?

But the two guys staring back at me from the broken mirror remained silent.

I Aint No Fool For Love Songs That Whisper In My Ear

He sat on the edge of the bed, shooting me that sideways glance of his that I had not seen for years. I knew what was coming next, I knew it was bound to happen, I wanted it to happen ... I needed to wrap myself in the arms of an old lover and forget everything ... to reconnect with someone I once was insanely smitten with; what do they call it? Rebounding? Sex with the Ex?

To me it was like coming home.

GHOST IN THE LIQUOR STORE

May of 1986, Chris and I were over. He was out in Colorado, dating a woman and planning on getting married. Andy was living in New York City chasing his American dream ... and me, I was back in New Jersey, licking my wounds, working long hours at a social service agency, and, with the exception of a roll in the hay with a fuck buddy now and again, living a pretty dull life.

One Friday night, bored out my mind, I stopped into a liquor store on my way home from work, intent on buying myself a bottle of cheap wine so that I could be good and drunk when I took advantage of myself later on in the evening. I figured that the booze and a porn rental would do the job nicely.

As I perused the bottles of merlots and pinot noirs I became aware that someone was standing directly behind me. I turned to see who was trying to bore a hole in the back of my head and was stunned to see Stu staring back at me.

It was ghostly at first, like I was seeing a specter of some sort... and then, my wits returned and I smiled widely, he truly was a sight for sore eyes; still as beautiful as he was the last time I saw him in 1984...

"Of all the gin joints in all the world, he had to walk into mine", he said in his best Bogart and laughed. And then I burst out in laughter. We hugged each other and then both immediately began talking at the same time.

It turned out that he was back because his parents were selling their home in town and needed him to keep an eye on the place while they were away in Europe.

We agreed to go out for a bite to eat and catch up.

After dinner he asked me to come back to his folks house.

DOWNSTAIRS

It had been almost ten years since I was in this house, the very house that I more or less lost my virginity when I was a teenager ...

"So how is Vermont?" I asked as we sat in the living room on a large overstuffed sofa.

"Oh man, it's great. It's a whole other world," he said sipping a glass of wine, his eyes never leaving mine, "a lot of very cool people there, and a great artist's community in Johnson. I love it."

I nodded my head and said, "Are you seeing anyone?"

He put down his wine and said softly, "No, not now. Too scary. It's not like when we were younger..."

I smiled and added, "Guess what I had last month?"

He shook his head.

"My first fucking AIDS test. I had to wait almost two weeks for results."

"So, is everything ok?" he asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, don't that beat all? I mean when you consider the amount of fucking and sucking I've taken a part in over the years ... yeah, well, I guess I'm lucky."

"It sucks being gay these days", he said.

"It's never been the greatest card to be dealt," I added, "We were just lucky, me you, Andy and Chris... damn could you imagine what it would have been like if we had not known each other?"

He nodded in agreement and poured me some more wine, and then out of the blue, he gave me kiss on the cheek and said, "Sorry, it just felt like the natural thing to do."

"Stu, there is no need to apologize," and then I pulled him back to me and we kissed properly...at first it was awkward, but in a matter of seconds he relaxed and he kissed me like it was 1977...

Then we sat quietly for a second and he said, "I have not been with anyone in over a year", his face looking tense and fraught with worry.

I pulled him to me and he lay his head on my shoulder and I said, "I know, I know..."

And we stayed like that for what seemed hours.

But it was really just a matter of minutes.

Then we kissed again, the wine forgotten, our mouths attached, an almost desperate energy between us both ... "Take your pants off," I whispered in between kisses, "Take them off and relax" ... soon his 501's were down around his ankles and I was on my knees in front of his stiff cock ... I went down on him and immediately recognized his taste and smell, it was familiar, and so exciting ... and then I let my hands go to his chest and while I sucked I went for his tits and as soon as I did this, he shot a load in my mouth and let out a surprised yell ... I swallowed his cum and wiped my mouth and looked up at him, his face finally serene...

Now, I was lying across the sofa and he was at my dick, working me like the old days in that slow, sensual methodical way of his ... his hands, of course, going to my tits, pinching them and making me gasp in pleasure, and when I finally came, he swallowed me and it was good ... just like the old days.

His mojo was back after all, when he said, "Say, I've got some really good dope, want to blow a bowl?"

So we sat in the kitchen in our underwear and smoked a couple of bowls of some righteous weed, he flicked on a small radio on top of the refrigerator and Jim Morrison serenaded us.

"So Chris is getting hitched?" he asked nonchalantly as he packed another bowl, "I hope whoever she is knows what she's getting into!"

I laughed in spite of everything and nodded my head.

"Man, he was something else, what a guy. Never quite understood him, but I am grateful, seriously grateful for him, I mean he made me feel good about who I was ... I am ... and thanks to him, I'm always turned on by pro wrestling."

"Same here", I added.

"So what happened between you guys, I mean why did he opt for the white picket fence..."

I put up my hand and said, "Can we not talk about him, I have to go to his fucking wedding in a month. I am the best man!"

"The fuck you say!" he exclaimed his eyes wide with surprise, "Oh man, here, take some more you really need this more than I do", and he handed the pipe back to me.

A few minutes later, the bowl beat and the two of us bleary eyed and stoned, he took me by the hand and said, "Do you want to go upstairs and fuck?"

I thought he'd never ask.


UPSTAIRS

He sat on the edge of the bed, shooting me that sideways glance of his that I had not seen for years. I knew what was coming next, I knew it was bound to happen, I wanted it to happen ... I needed to wrap myself in the arms of an old lover and forget everything ... to reconnect with someone I once was insanely smitten with; what do they call it? Rebounding? Sex with the Ex?

Walking over to the bed, he smiled at me and stood up and we faced each other. His hands went to my nipples and he began tweaking and pinching them, his face an intense mask of concentration. Maybe it was the pot, but it felt like every nerve ending was tied to my tits and I was overwhelmed by the sensation, and then he said, "Hey man, what about me?" And with that I went for his tits and met every pinch and pull and listened as he chuckled evilly and moaned, "Oh brother, man, why did we ever part?"

I decided now was not the time to mention Mitch, so I grabbed his fully erect cock and pulled him towards me and wrapped my arms around him, and we drew into a kiss that was sloppy, and wet and very electric. As we made out, we rammed our cocks into each other, our hips grinding ... I could feel his precum dripping down my leg, and I caught our reflection in the mirror over a dresser and I kept stealing glances at these two old lovers who had found each other again, and wondering if they were lucky, or both just satisfying a need.

He pushed me on to the bed and we began wrestling around on the sheets. It was all playful and sexually charged and eventually we ended up in a 69 position and sucked each other's dicks ... we rolled around until I was on top of him fucking his face while I kept his cock in my mouth and gave him head ... then we rolled again and I found him on top of me, his head going like a jack-hammer as he sucked ... I let my hands come up and grabbed at his tight ass cheeks, pushing him down on me, and then I started working back towards his hole until I reached it and began fingering him in earnest. He stopped sucking me off, and threw his head up and growled in ecstasy, "Oh man, don't stop!" he cried out.

He climbed off of me and without a word was on his knees, holding on to the headboard of the bed, his ass raised ... I wanted to fuck him so bad ... but...

..."Stu" I said, breaking the spell, "I don't have any condoms".

"Under the bed!" He yelled, "There's lube and rubbers under the bed."

Sure as hell, there they were; and I stopped for a second and wondered why someone who has not had sex with anyone in years would be laying in a supply of grease and Trojans at his parent's house...

...I'd worry about that later...

Sheathed and lubed, I plowed my old boyfriend, taking an aggressive route that he seemed to enjoy as he cheered me on saying, "Harder, man, make me feel it, OH YEAH! That's it, fuck me raw!!!" That's all I needed to go into jackrabbit mode and I let him have it with everything in me, and man it was so fucking hot, his ass was as sweet and tight as it always had been and I was digging giving this fuck ... meanwhile the radio from the kitchen was still on and the voice of Leon Russell singing "Back to the Island" made it's way up the stairs, I always liked that song ...

Now I lay flat on his back, my hips rising and falling as I fucked Stu into next week. Reaching under him to his tits, I started yanking on them and he kept crying out my name and every time he uttered it, I'd fuck him harder, finally I grabbed a handful of that thick blue / black hair of his and pulled on it yanking his head back as I said through gritted teeth, "Gonna' cum!", and I did and I closed my eyes and for the first time in years, I saw fireworks and felt electric and found this orgasm to be one in a million.

After I shot, I told him to fuck me, and he did. Throwing my legs over his shoulders he slipped on a condom and was off to the races. I watched him the entire time and felt something in me, that old romantic something-or-other come back to life and as I studied his face, a mask of coital pleasure, I found myself falling in love all over again, and I hated myself for that...and when he came he jerked back and pulled out, tossed the condom and shot his load all over me until I was covered in his sticky, sweet, juice ... and Paul Simon was now singing downstairs; "Still Crazy After All These Years"...


AFTER WORDS

We lay in bed, exhausted while the songs from the kitchen kept playing. I wondered what was really going on in his life, really. But for the time being, this was OK, two former lovers throwing a life raft to each other, helping each other through a rough patch...

He started singing along with the song, in my ear he sang softly, "If only you'd believe like I, we'd get by..."

I chuckled and then he said, "Why don't you move to Vermont with me? What's keeping you here in Jersey?"

I started to say something, but I stopped and looked over at him, his beautiful bedroom eyes, his thick sensual lips, his gorgeous hair and then I leaned over and sang softly, " I ain't no fool for love songs that whisper in my ear..."

He frowned and I gave him a kiss on the forehead and then got out of bed.

Then I made my way downstairs, put on my clothes and left.

As I drove on through the night, I felt empty, kind of sad, maybe like I finally had closed a chapter of my life for good ... and on the other hand, I felt liberated, like I walked away from something that maybe was not all that good to begin with ...

I never saw Stu again.

Sucking in the Seventies

Most gay men learn how to give head early on. If you were as lucky as I was, and had a group of like minded guys around you, then learning was half the fun. With out my "brothers" (Andy, Stu and Chris), I'd have been one miserable gay boy back in the 70's.

Cock sucking is an art, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. If you can't do it right, if your heart's not into it, then you might as well hang it up. Furthermore, if you can't enjoy getting a blow job, then do the same.

Hang it up.

I learned how to give and get head from my buddy, Stu.

We began while we both were still in high school. After classes were through for the day, we'd often spend time in his basement, smoking weed, listening to rock and roll albums, and sucking each other's dicks.

Stu was advanced, not only was he into head, but he also turned me on to nipple play and kissing. My god he kissed beautifully. Beyond that he taught me that cock sucking was more than just a physical act, it was soulful and something to savor.

Often while sucking Stu, he'd say, "Slow down, not so fast." And he'd direct my hands to his every present erect nipples and tell me to pinch them while I sucked.

As time passed, I looked forward to giving him blow jobs, he always smelled faintly of musk and when I'd busy myself at his stalk, I'd breath deep his scent and it would make me high.

He always shot his load in my mouth, and I always swallowed it. It was salty and warm and I loved the after-taste.

Stu would return the gift by going down on me, slowly starting at the head of my cock and then leisurely working his way down to the base, my pubic hair would be covered in his saliva as the tip of his tongue traced my length and I would moan in exquisite pleasure until the moment he'd bring me to climax. Often he'd go for my tits just as I was about to cum and the sensation would drive me to insane bursts of pleasure.

Our sessions were always followed by long, luxurious, sensual kisses where we'd taste each other's juice on our tongues ... is it any wonder he was the first guy I ever really fell in love with. Even as we moved on to other forms of sexual expressions, with Stu it was always a slow burn that lead to mind blowing orgasms.


Andy was the resident jack-rabbit, he was quick and enthusiastic and loved the pay off more than anything.

I remember one time, I'd barely got my mouth around his cock when he shot his load. We'd laugh about this, but it was true. I used to joke that all you had to do with him was breathe on his cock and he'd cum.

When he managed to last, I could expect a quick and energetic face fuck that would be followed by him usually grabbing his cock and jerking off to climax.

Conversely, when Andy sucked, he did it with the same abandon. I think that's why he he was our go-to-guy when you just needed to bust a nut. He'd wrap his lips around the head of your cock and go at it like a mad man.

Andy loved "back alley blow jobs"; that is giving and getting head in an out of the way place. One time he sucked me off in a movie theater, and Chris was always inviting him to the gym locker room for a quickie.


As for Chris; he was the Alpha male so cock sucking was always a rough sport, giving or getting. I remember that he liked to shove my head down on his cock, and he took particular pleasure in making me (or anyone else) gag on his member.

Often he enjoyed laying flat having his cock worshiped all the while he'd be coaxing his partner to "suck that big cock" or some other porn-star line.

Chris was also fond of face fucking. He'd have me lay flat and then lay longways, ramming his cock in my mouth while he sort of did push-ups.

While he sometimes would cum in my mouth, he loved to pull out and shoot it all over my face.

When Chris gave head, it was just as intense. He'd start by grabbing my nuts and squeezing them tightly and then he'd open wide and go for the full package, roughly sucking away on my member and maybe even lightly biting at the base of my cock. He also like to finger my ass when sucking me off; man that could be mind numbing just as your about to shoot.


Last, but by no means least, I'd be remiss not to mention my sweet Aaron; my lover from the City of Angels, my hustling partner during that long lost weekend in Sin City...

Aaron seemed to be a never ending bag of surprises when it came to sex, and cock sucking was one of his specialties. He once said to me, "Brother, you can get rich in this town if you can make a guy cum while blowing him".

Man, he was right about that one.

I remember the first time I sucked his cock and how he responded with surprise and asked me where I learned to be so good at fellatio.

Aaron enjoyed standing and lowering his penis to my mouth, often it would be dripping with precum and I'd let it drip on to my lips and then I'd open my mouth and the same would happen to my tounge. Then I'd relax and let him slip in and then slowly I'd let my tounge work the underside of his member and then I'd swallow and he'd shudder .

One time he asked me how many times I watched "Deep Throat". I took that as a compliment from him, considering he'd been professionally sucking cock for years.

Of course when he gave head, it was a fucking religious experience. There was nothing his partner had to do but lay back and let the master drive. Aaron took me over the rainbow and down the rabbit hole each and every time he sucked my cock.

---

Back in Jersey, many was the time when me and the boys would end a session with a group blow job. That is, one of us would take turns sucking all of the others off.

One time, I recall, I was the one giving head and in a dizzying adventure I took three different cocks in my mouth, switching off enjoying the taste and texture of each one, just waiting for my brothers to blow their loads. For a lapsed Catholic, it was like communion, only much better!

And if I was one of the ones getting head, then it was just as good knowing that my cock was going to get serviced and that I was in good company with my blow job brothers...all of us...

...sucking in the seventies.